Regulate This

 A scandal is afoot.  An impropriety against government regulations has been committed.  It has something to do with Congress, but may not be the standard corruption you might expect.  No favors have been traded, no emails erased, and no back room deals to worry about.  In this instance it is a simple case of cheating.  Congress is tasked with setting automotive regulations, everything from how headlights work to the number of sharp objects you can bump your noggin on.  Included in these regulations are restrictions on how many and what type of gasses can vented to the atmosphere.  These rules are very specific, and are there to protect the environment.  They have been improved over the years to the point that a 396 Chevelle SS sitting in the garage produces more emissions than a new Stingray traveling at 70MPH.  

Corporations being what they are, tools for making money, the rules are sometimes disregarded.  It was difficult to thwart the regulations when cars like the Chevelle had mechanical fueling and spark control.  That is why basically any car from about 1973 to 1985 sucked.  Computer technology was not up to the task of running an engine, so the regulations in place restricted performance.  As computers improved, performance returned with fuel injection and electronic ignition.  It was possible to make even more power than before, with less pollution and greater economy.  Things have progressed to the point that the latest four banger from Mercedes makes in excess of 355 horsepower, exactly as much as the Chevelle I mentioned above, while making very little pollution and achieving 31 MPG.

Regulations drive automakers to improve cars, but sometimes it is easier to just lie.  Back in the 1990’s Cadillac got into trouble for running two engine control programs in its Northstar V8, one that made much more power, and one that passed emissions.  The EPA, in an effort to make all things equal, does not run the air conditioner during random emission testing.  As soon as the EPA technician turned off the climate control, the car switched to the engine management program that met regulations.  Eventually GM was found out and paid a fine, not the first EPA fine levied against the auto giant.

Way back then, in the early days of Yahoo and AOL, automotive computers were considerably more simple.  GPS, stability control, variable valve timing, direct injection, and drive by wire did not exist.  Using something like the air conditioner to change engine programs was effective and simple to implement.  In the modern computerized world, something so simple would be discovered.  As a result, if an automaker feels the need to cheat, they must be more cunning.  

The scandal part is easy to understand with this background.  Computers control cars, making them efficient, powerful, reliable, and extremely complex.  The EPA uses computers to test cars, ensuring uniform data.  So, if one computer is testing another computer, how hard would it be to have the computer being tested recalibrate the engine to pass?  Evidently not hard at all.  So far, VW and BMW have been found to use sophisticated programs to alter engine control when a vehicle is being tested, but when the same vehicle is driven by a human, the engine produces too much NOx.

The problem is limited to diesel cars, which are closely regulated.  VW sold about half a million cheater cars over four years.  There is no word yet on how the non-polluting calibration will affect the car, but there will be a negative effect, or the cars would have been made correctly in the first place.  BMW is in the same situation with its diesels, and I am sure we will find Mercedes, Porsche (how weird is it that there is a diesel Porsche?) Chevrolet, Jeep, and Audi all have problems meeting regulations once they have all been tested.

It is a real shame, because Diesel cars represent true economy and ecological responsibility.  They can achieve the EPA rated fuel mileage (unlike a hybrid that works in the lab but not on the road,) are better to drive, less expensive to buy and own, and have more power than any hybrid.  They are even more ecologically sound considering how damaging battery production is to the environment.  

Besides, diesel cars are not going to poison your town.  There are not that many offending cars out there, all things considered.  I am in no way defending VW, they knew the rules and used cunning to circumvent them.  But the sky is not falling because your neighbor has a VW that rattles and puffs a little black cloud when he leaves the driveway.  All new cars have very low emissions, even the offending diesels.  I support regulations that ensure our environment is protected because without them car companies would never regulate themselves, and consumers would not pay thousands of dollars for emissions equipment.  

Automakers will fix this problem and continue to do everything they can to sell cars, including cheat on regulations when they can get away with it.  Eventually we will have autonomous pods that run on fuel cells with hydrogen derived from solar energy.  Until then we have to do the best we can, using resources responsibly and regulating industry to protect our environment.  But freaking out about diesel cars is not the best way forward.

Opinions are like…

I think the Lamborghini Huracan is not as good as the McLaren 650S. The truth of my statement is under debate, and has nothing to do with reality. The Lamborghini may be a better car, but that is not the point.  The point is that we hold opinions on things in which we have no experience. I have never driven a McLaren or a Lamborghini, so I can not say which one is better.  I have never even ridden in a Ferrari, Aston Martin, Bugatti, Maserati, Pagani, Koenigsegg, Nissan GTR, Shelby Cobra, Viper, Lotus, or almost any car that can be found posterized on a boys bedroom wall.  I have seen them, touched them, heard them run, but I have no experience beyond a spectator at a sporting event. Yet I have opinions on every car I have mentioned. Unqualified opinions? Possibly, but I can offer some insight on why I hold the opinions I so easily shove down my reader's throats.

If you want to know about football, don't ask me. All I know is a home run is worth seven points. Cars, on the other hand; not to put too fine a point on it, but I have studied cars for a long, long time. I am no engineer, and I don't even play one on TV. Regardless, I have a rudimentary understanding of Newtonian physics, and I have experience driving as many different kind of cars as I can get my hands on. This allows me to make intuitive leaps that are based on hard evidence. Automakers spend millions developing cars to be pleasing to the customer. Part of that development is in driving dynamics.  I base my opinions on my perception of a car’s driving dynamics more than any other trait.

At the risk of being boring, how a car drives can be closely linked to where the engine is located and which wheels get the power. Driving a Porsche 911 feels very different than driving a Honda Civic. The feelings some 911 drivers experience have nothing to do with the emotions that may arise from driving a car that most people can't afford. That is petty overcompensation for some other shortcoming in the owner’s life. The feeling I am talking about is separate from emotion. It is the interaction of varied and complex forces on your inner ear as a result of control inputs and opposing reactions.

Surprisingly, we all have the equipment to evaluate this sensation, it is called your butt-o-meter. A Honda Civic, even a Si, is not all that fast. Under hard acceleration or turning the front wheels skitter across the pavement, fighting for traction because they are responsible for most of the acceleration and turning at the same time. The driver of this car’s butt-o-meter would register disappointment, understanding somewhere in the caveman part of the brain that energy is being lost, partially as a result of weight transfer from the front to the rear of the car. A Porsche 911 on the other hand will light up your butt-o-meter like few things will. The 911 is unique among cars because it is a very fast car that carries its engine in the back, out behind the rear wheels. I will admit this is not necessarily the best place for ultimate performance, but it makes the car feel “special.” Weight transfer presses the rear wheels harder into the pavement when a 911 accelerates, and creates a slight pendulum effect at the rear of the car when cornering. Any rear drive car is more satisfying to drive than a front drive car, but the 911's rear weight bias pegs the butt-o-meter during most maneuvers due to this slight pendulum effect. Acceleration, braking, and turning seem to happen somewhere just aft of your right elbow, instead of out at the front bumper.  It is vastly more challenging to drive a 911 fast than to drive a Civic fast, but it is also considerably more satisfying when you get it right, and markedly more exciting when you get it wrong.

So why, then, do we even care about these type of cars when a Civic is adequate, even nice to drive?  Because Porsches, Ferraris, Lamborghinis and the like dare to approach the limit of human ability.  I have opinions about cars I have never even seen, and I spend time building those opinions with research and speculation based on my personal experience and the experience of people I trust.

To paraphrase the Avett Brothers, I will continue to talk on things I don’t know about.  Just because I do not have the experience of driving some of the cars I write about doesn’t mean I haven't the right to form an opinion on them, and to force you to know my opinion.  And besides, everybody has an opinion.

Get Lost

In my younger years (how depressing is it that I am old enough to make that statement) I made a habit of getting lost.  I have a pretty good sense of direction, so getting lost was completely intentional.  Most of the time it was in a car, occasionally it was on foot. For instance, in St Maxime, France I bumbled into a street festival once. The women were beautiful, and the eclairs weren't bad either. Wondering how close I could get to Virginia without leaving the Outer Banks, I became stranded on a sandbar and had to spend the night in my Bronco, waiting for low tide to drive back down the coast the next morning. I even found the neighborhood I now live in completely by accident.

It is almost impossible to get lost now-a-days. Google Maps makes traveling infinitely safer, easier, and cheaper than ever before.  It knows every construction delay, traffic jam, and speed camera.  GPS technology is amazing. When I leave my normal service area to work on a machine, it is very comforting to have that lady in a box that knows how to get there. I can focus on the road instead of the directions. It is safer and easier to travel now, but the sense of adventure has been lost.

Having to pay attention to where you are creates situational awareness that is absent when you are just waiting for the nice lady to tell you where to go, but Google needs to know your intentions in order to guide you. What if your intentions are to simply “go?” You can’t thwart Google that easily.  It will catch up, offering suggestions as you travel. It is handy when you need gas or a McDonald's, but what if you want real food, or to find that house surrounded by a million Christmas lights all year long? There are many sources for user submitted reviews and even books of interesting things to find along the road. But whose interest does Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Habbo, or Linkedin serve? Like a Congressional Subcommittee, their only goal is to remain in existence. They intend to help you make good decisions, but they can make you complacent. Is a place mediocre if you think it is, but the reviews are great?  Mediocrity is rampant, no matter how many stars the Cinnamon Dolce Latte earns.  What does Bob985671 know about coffee, anyway?

Boy Scouts never get lost. What a horrible life they must live. I have found many wonderful things not looking for them. What would happen if you simply took a left out of your driveway and didn't plan where you were going. Shut down the GPS and phone (usually the same device) and drive until you don't recognize anything around you. It is time to disconnect and fill the tank, both spiritually and fluidly. You might even find that house surrounded by hundreds of stuffed panda bears.

Of course some of the adventure is lost when you realize it doesn't matter where you go, to get back home just fire up that smart phone. It is only too willing to get you to your destination, and find the trendiest place to eat on the way.

Unfinished Business

At least 60% of my brain activity is devoted to automotive projects.  Restoring or modifying my car, researching cars for friends, or just looking at what is available for reasonable money.  It is not unusual for me to focus my attention on a particular car, a MKII Toyota Supra for instance.  I figure out what decent ones cost, what restoration would be required, and what modifications would be fun and unusual.  I may never resto-mod a Supra, but I have a pretty good idea what it would take to accomplish the task.  In the process of researching possibilities, I run across people that are actually doing the things I am thinking about.  As luck would have it, people love to work on their cars, and more importantly, talk about what they are doing to their cars.  There are many very talented craftsmen out there turning their ideas into reality.  Porsches with LS7’s in them, Factory Five 818 or Stalker kit cars, VW Dune Buggies with turbo Subaru engines, old Volvo wagons with various engines, Miatas with Honda V6 power, even electric MR2’s.  These are all cars I love and can be built by a person without any fabrication skills.  Of course there are the totally custom builds that do not use any kind of standard parts (besides a car and an engine) like the Volvo Amazon with a BMW turbo engine and Skyline driveline, or a completely homemade off road buggy.  With enough effort, almost anything is possible.

Therein lies a problem.  Effort is a sparse commodity, it seems.  Automotive forums are full of interesting projects that never come to fruition.  About 75% of the projects I read about stall at that point when real work is required.  It is easy, even fun to search for the car, get the parts, make the plans, but when the garage is full of metal and glass and plastic that could become a car, many people lose interest.  It takes real, hard, tedious work to build or rebuild a car.  It is much easier to just buy a new one.  In this case, no work (other than the soul-crushing, mind-numbing work that you do every day) is required to turn greenbacks into transportation.

Sometimes it is simply that a project is too ambitious.  Accomplishment would require more time, energy, or money than is available.  In addition, the project is always a hobby.  It is not the primary or even secondary form of transportation, so there is no sense of urgency to complete the project.  Ever.  In fact, it is easier to just get rid of this hot rod thing taking up space in the garage.  Why would anybody want a hot rod anyway?

Because they are freakin’ cool.  Don’t get into a position where the only practical end is to simply end the project.  Be realistic.  If you don’t have a garage, lift, welder, upholstery sewing machine, tubing bender, paint shop, parts cleaner, an unlimited budget, years of restoration experience, and three helpers, then you are just like me.  I know not to get into a Jaguar restoration right now, which would require all the things I listed above.  Instead, I modified my CR-V.  It still has the same engine, radio, and interior installed in Japan all those years ago.  I never planned to install a massive stereo, or cut the roof off, or swap in the driveline from an Evo, even though I have researched the feasibility of such changes.  That would be too ambitious right now.  Regardless, I love the car.  It reminds me that I am an able human with ideas and the ability to express them.  A mildly modified car in good shape is so much more enjoyable than that garage full of crap that will never be anything but an aggravation to your family, who want to roller skate in there.